SHOULD MOM STAY HOME WITH THE KIDS?
A discussion with Clarissa Herget, 18, of Mountlake Terrace, Washington; Kristian Swearingen, 16, of Anchorage, Alaska; Paula Cook, 17, of Houston, Texas; Leigh-Ann Brown, 18, Omaha, Nebraska; and Jonathan Reber, 17, of Peoria, Illinois.
Clarissa: The most important thing to me is family, and there's been a general breakdown of families. So I feel that at least one of the parents should stay home and take care of the kids. And I think it should be the mother, because women do have that nurturing instinct. When I have kids, I will stay home as long as my husband has enough money to take care of us. It's not that I think women don't belong in the workplace. I just don't think working should coexist with having children-until they are in their late teens, 15, 16, 17.
Kristian: I agree. I've had my mother at home, my father working, all through my school career. I can call home and say, 'Will you bring me a lunch?" Or she can go and do stuff for me during the day. I also think it should be the woman who stays home, because women have the nurturing instinct. Whereas men, we have a tendency to want to work and to do and to build and provide.
Paula: Economically right now, it's totally impossible for one parent to stay at home, unless you're rich. Most parents can't afford to do that.
Clarissa: We lived very frugally. We did not have extras. Because the family was more important.
Paula: My parents never stopped working, and I turned out just fine. I'm responsible. I'm very mature. I'm ready to go and handle everything on my own. And I think that's from them not being at home and my having to take care of myself. When you go to college and you don't have a lunch, you can't call Mommy. When you're living on your own and you can't pay your rent, you can't call Mommy. Relying on Mommy or Daddy is going to hurt you down the road.
Clarissa: When a kid's in third grade and his mom's working, you can't expect him to take care of himself, to know what to do if he accidentally leaves his lunch at home. He has to have someone home to be able to help him out. What if he's sick and has to stay home from school, and Mommy or Daddy has to go to work?
Leigh-Ann: The mother should be home for maybe the first ten years of the child's life. I always had my mom at home, until I was in junior high, and it was nice. But my mom has a job now. She has things she wants to do too. It is unfair to ask a woman to give up 18 years of her life. I would like to work, and I plan on having a good job, because that's what I'm getting a good education for. Still, many kids are going down the wrong path, because they don't have the strong family, the foundation that other kids have who might become more successful in life. There are a lot of problems with crime and just values in general, and having one parent at home would help that a lot.
Paula: What if Mommy or Daddy is beating their child while they're staying at home? What if they're teaching them bad values while they're staying at home? Keep an open mind, and understand that everybody's circumstance is so different.
Jon: Values can be taught when both parents work too. And I agree that without a parent at home, a kid might have more self-reliance. My mom pretty much does all my stuff for me. What am I going to do in ten years when my mom's not there to say, "Well, you've got an appointment" for this or that?
Paula: When you're small, everybody hopes to have a parent at home. But that's not going to work for everyone. We really can't judge a person and say, "Your mom needs to stay at home," because women are not going to be on house arrest. Kids are going to face many things in life, and whatever it takes to get ourselves ready for the world, that's what it takes.
-- Lynn Minton Reports "Fresh Voices" Parade Magazine October 5, 1997