So, it’s time to register for next semester, and there it is: the dreaded foreign language requirement.  You’ve been putting it off for a few semesters now, hoping against hope that you’d find a way to satisfy that damn Goal 10 without sitting through three semesters of verb conjugations, impossible lab exercises, and silly little skits.  I’m mean, really: why do Longwood students have to take Spanish or French or German anyway?  You’ve been speaking English your entire life and have nothing to complain about.  You have no interest in traveling abroad, except maybe to Cancún or Canada, but everyone speaks English there anyway.  There’s no possible way you’ll ever use a foreign language for your career or your personal life: you don’t plan to get a job or raise a family outside Virginia; your friends are all American; you don’t watch foreign movies; you don’t read foreign newspapers; and all the important novels were translated into English years ago.  Moreover, foreign language classes are a drag: they’re frustrating and difficult and time-consuming, and the teachers won’t speak English.  And, if you have to work a weekend job to afford Longwood in the first place, you’d rather not spend your hard-earned money on a class you are forced to take.

So, who needs a foreign language, anyway?  Well, the short answer is you.  Even if it is expensive and exasperating and a bit unpopular, you need to know a foreign language.  Your future as a thoughtful, reflective, sexy person requires it.  If all you know is English, then all you know is the English-speaking world.  The world, though, is a pretty big place, and monolingual Americans have access to only a little sliver of it.  It’s true that English has become an indispensable language, a global language of privilege and power.  But there’s more to the world than English can reveal.  Imagine if you could see only the color green.  You’d notice grass and trees and (American) money, of course, but, without seeing red, you’d never understand the significance of a red rose on Valentine’s Day.  Without seeing blue, you’d never understand music from Memphis. Without seeing black and white, you’d never understand the history of our country.  If all you saw were green, you’d be blind to most of what the world is about.  Similarly, if all you hear is English, you are deaf to the concerns and contributions of most of the people on the planet.

We can express concrete things in many different ways, of course.  A beer is a bière in Senegal, a cerveza in South America, and a Bier in certain parts of Switzerland.  Because the United States is such a large and diverse country, we Americans know intuitively that people have different words for the same basic thing: a soda in Virginia is a pop in Ohio and a coke in Atlanta.  But words carry with them an important nuance of the people who use them, as anyone who has tried to explain grits to a Yankee understands all too well.  The word sorority, for instance, is very difficult to translate into French because sororities don’t exist in France.  Campus life in the two countries is so different that to explain the word sorority to a citizen of France, you have to describe what it is and why it is important to American college students.  It’s more than just a group of women, right?

Foreign languages express meanings and feelings and histories that English translations simply cannot convey.  Without access to foreign languages, there are some things we Americans simply could not know.  As W.H. Auden once wrote, “Language is the mother, not the handmaiden, of thought; words will tell you things you never thought or felt before.”  While French has no word for sorority, English has no equivalent for the German Schadenfreude—that unseemly feeling of delight we get in seeing other people in distress.  If we’re happy that Martha Stewart went to prison, we are experiencing Schadenfreude.  We can explain the word in English, but we cannot capture its essence.  There is no English equivalent, and unless we understand German, we cannot understand what this word really conveys.  While we Americans know exactly what small talk is, and engage in it every day, the expression has no equivalent in German society.  As Dr. Reynolds just told me, “If you pass a German on the street and ask how she’s doing, she’ll give you a medical report.”

So, why should you care that people in France don’t know what a sorority is, or that you can’t grasp the nuances of Schadenfreude?  If you plan to live in Virginia forever and become a teacher or a manager or a lawyer and never deal with anyone who isn’t American, why should you sign up for a foreign language class now? 

There are studies that show that knowledge of a foreign language increases a student’s test scores and leads to higher salaries.  But, to be honest, there are more charming reasons to take a language class.  For one, the world needs people who understand one other, and, by enrolling in a foreign language class, you will help make your country and your world a safer place.  By and large, people in other countries understand Americans better than Americans understand them.  Most college-aged Europeans have been learning English since they were in diapers.  By contrast, only 8% of American students study a foreign language.  The discrepancy is alarming for at least two reasons.  From a humanistic perspective, an education that does not include foreign languages shows a lack of respect for other cultures, other interests, and other points of view.  And, as we’ve witnessed in recent years, lack of respect for other cultures can lead to a culture war with devastating consequences.  From an economic or political perspective, though, ignorance of a foreign language places Americans at the mercy of non-Americans who know English.  If you are hesitant to enroll in a language class, think about this: monolingual people are easy to take advantage of—economically, socially, and politically.

A second reason to feel good about enrolling in a foreign language class at Longwood is that it’s counter-cultural.  It’s radical.  It’s different.  It’s cutting-edge.  If you are among the 8% of students your age can understand a foreign language, you are bucking a trend.  Monolinguism is mediocre, mainstream, dull.  Polylinguism is atypical, sophisticated, sexy.  No self-respecting college student wants to be like everyone else.  You don’t want to live in a dorm.  You don’t want to eat in the dining hall.  So, why, for crying out loud, are you happy speaking English?  Everyone does that.  Can’t you do something different? 

Yes, foreign language classes can be difficult and demanding.  Some of them even meet at 8 A.M.  But, the good life is never easy and the easy life is never good.  College should not be a comfortable four years.  If it is, you’ve wasted your time and your money.  College is a time to try new things, to learn about yourself, to learn about the world at large.  College is a time to rebel and think and grow.  If you sign up for French or Spanish or German next semester—and take the class seriously—I guarantee you will learn to live at an angle to the monotony of mainstream.  You will become a rebel.  You will be sexy.  And while you’re at it, you will work to make the world a safer, more colorful, more beautiful place.

"Le sage est celui qui
s'étonne de tout."
André Gide

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