After decades of teaching experience, I have devised a list of
Dos and Don'ts of behavior in the classroom . . .
CLASSROOM
ETIQUETTE
BEFORE YOU EVEN COME TO CLASS . . .
DO NOT CALL ME "MR." HARDIN
(This is not high school. I have a Ph.D. and I am a
tenured Associate Professor with 25 years of
teaching experience, 17 of those at Longwood;
showing minimal respect means addressing
me as "Doctor" or "Professor" Hardin)
ASSOCIATE PROFESSORS GET 15 MINUTES
(Contrary to what you may have been told,
you should wait 15 minutes before leaving
if I have not arrived for class)
READ THE SYLLABUS
(The syllabus now equals four pages
of single-spaced 10 point text with important
information relative to your success
in this class; it is your responsibility
to know what it contains)
RELIEVE YOURSELF
(Barring real
emergencies, you should not be getting up
in the middle
of class for a potty break; this is not
high school where
you can afford to miss a lecture
and pick it up
again a week later)
TURN YOUR @#$%! CELL
PHONE RINGER OFF
(I
will keep mine on in case there is an emergency
announcement from Longwood)
APPEARING
IN COURT OR SPENDING TIME IN JAIL
FOR
SOMETHING YOU HAVE DONE DOES NOT
CONSTITUTE
AN EXCUSED ABSENCE
(I hate to be
preachy, but
bad choices have
consequences)
NO NOs . . .
ASSUMING
THAT PERFUME/COLOGNE IS
A
SUBSTITUTE FOR BATHING
(If
I
can smell you, you've got
WAY
too much on)
DOING
HOMEWORK FOR ANOTHER CLASS
DURING
THE LECTURES
(The
word is spelled I-N-S-U-L-T-I-N-G)
WORKING
ON YOUR SOCIAL CALENDAR
DURING
LECTURES
(All
play and no work makes Jack/Jill a dullard)
ASKING,
"DO WE NEED TO KNOW THIS FOR THE EXAM?"
(Sorry, you have
to know everything!)
ACTING
LIKE YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE BETTER TO BE
(Simply
put, this is the best place to be
for the next 50-75 minutes)
PICKING
NOSES, SCABS, OR ACNE
AND
CHEWING FINGERS
(Aside
from being gross, they're
usually
done with the
writing
hand)
PLAYING
WITH PIERCINGS (TONGUE, NAVEL, ETC.)
(See
above)
MAKING
ANNOYING NOISES DURING LECTURES
(I
expect to be the only annoying noise
you'll hear in this class)
TALKING
TO/PLAYING WITH OTHERS DURING THE LECTURES
(These
disturb those around you and are so 7th grade)
BLOWING BUBBLES, SNAPPING, OR
OTHERWISE
PLAYING WITH GUM
(Your
parents should have whacked you on the back of
your head for doing this when you were about nine)
Note: this professor and/or Longwood University do not condone
corporal punishment for children, but you get the idea
YAWNING
WITH AN OPEN MOUTH
(I
have no desire to review your
dental
history - or lack thereof)
WATCHING
THE CLOCK
(A
watched pot never boils)
SLEEPING
IN CLASS
(How anyone can
sleep through one
of my performances is beyond me)
New for 2008!
T_E_X_T_I_N_G
(This is nothing more than the modern equivalent
of note passing and will result in banishment from my
class; if you cannot survive 50-75 minutes without
chit-chatting, you might want to look into an
avocation other than college student)
New for 2008!
ASKING ME TO CALCULATE YOUR CURRENT SCORE
SO YOU KNOW WHAT SCORE YOU'LL NEED TO GET ON
THE FINAL EXAM TO ACHIEVE A CERTAIN FINAL GRADE
(1) you should already know how to do that kind of math;
(2) I don't do such calculations for you;
and (3) WHY NOT TRY FOR 100%?!?)
New for 2008!
APPEALING A GRADING DECISION
BY SENDING NASTY EMAILS
(This is incredibly poor tactics; you catch
more flies with honey than vinegar)
ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT MOST OF THEM SHOULDN'T BE DONE IN POLITE SOCIETY ANYWAY, ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE DISTRACTING TO ME AND OTHERS. DEPENDING ON MY MOOD, DOING ANY OF THE ABOVE MAY DRAW MY WRATH, RANCOR, IRE, ETC.
IT IS OK TO . . .
USE YOUR INTELLECT
(Process what you're hearing
and think about it)
TAPE RECORD LECTURES
(Why no one does this is a mystery to me)
CHALLENGE MY FACTS OR OPINIONS
(While I have a right to academic freedom,
that doesn't mean you can't challenge me;
what you need to do is be polite and make a
logical and reasoned response)
QUESTION WHAT YOU ARE BEING TOLD
(Don't let anyone spoon-feed you the "truth")
INTERRUPT TO ASK A PERTINENT QUESTION
(Stay on track so you don't de-rail my train of thought, though)
INTERRUPT TO MAKE AN INTERESTING COMMENT
(If you have experienced something that's
relevant to the topic, please share it with all of us)
TELL ME WHAT YOU LIKE OR DISLIKE ABOUT THE COURSE
(I take your opinion seriously; just about all of the improvements to
this course have come from written student evaluations and other
comments - and a pat on the back once in a while helps too!)
QUIETLY
DRINK IN CLASS
(Non-alcoholic beverages only, please,
and no dregs slurping)
GET TO KNOW ME
(I don't bite - at least not so that it breaks the skin - so
don't be shy about talking to me; do keep in mind
that students do this so infrequently that
I'll probably talk your ear off)
REMEMBER:
THIS CLASS IS NOT SO LARGE THAT YOU CAN BECOME INVISIBLE, SO WATCH YOUR BODY LANGUAGE. SCOWLING, SLOUCHING, SLEEPING, YAWNING, OR OTHER OVERT EXPRESSIONS OF BOREDOM WILL DRAW MY ATTENTION; DON'T BE SURPRISED IF I STOP AND ASK WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!
Updated May 20, 2008
© David Hardin