Let’s be honest. You hear the acronym QEP, along with other academia jargon, and your eyes glaze over. B-O-R-I-N-G. But let’s assume in this case it’s a bit more interesting than you might think… because it really is. With that assumption in place, here are a few questions that might pop into that curious head of yours. And if it’s still boring to you, at least you get to see a cute cat reading a book.

1. What the heck is a QEP?

Q.E.P. stands for Quit Eating Pancakes. A plan to end childhood obesity in—OK, who are we kidding. We couldn’t do that to pancakes. It really stands for Quality Enhancement Plan, and the topic selected for Longwood’s QEP is student research.

Adam Levine raises eyebrow and makes a face while sitting in The Voice chair

2. What’s so great about student research?

So it’s Saturday night. You, a typical college student, are in the microbiology lab staring at a DNA sequencer. While you wait, why not crack open Nietzsche for some light reading? Let’s cut to the chase: Student research is about making YOU SMARTER. So you can do things like, you know, get a job. Or get into a great graduate school. Or participate in a research project that has real-life implications. It’s kind of the point of college.

Mind = Blown

3. So how long did it take to come up with this plan?

Hours. Days. Months. Years. We spent three years on this. Three. The average lifespan of a queen ant. We did that to come up with a plan that will really make your college experience more valuable. Think of it this way: We’re investing in YOU. Yep, you’re that important.

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4. What is R.E.A.L. Inquiry?

No, it’s not a BravoTV interview with your favorite housewife. R.E.A.L. Inquiry is the official name of Longwood’s QEP initiative. The name was suggested by Longwood senior Haley Vest—so S/O Haley!

Real House Wife snapping her fingers

5. What does R.E.A.L. stand for?

Research Experience for Aspiring Leaders. Clever, huh? Just one reason why Haley’s the SGA president.

Dog in spacesuit:

6. I’m lost.

That’s not a question, but would it help if we boiled down everything you need to know into 30 seconds? Done.

7. Why do I need to know this?

Good question.

I Dunno Minion GIF

8. Seriously, why do I need to know this?

Two-part answer, Alex. First, you need to know this because some very important people are going to be here in March asking random people on campus about the QEP. They’re from the accreditation group, and Longwood’s standing partially depends on your knowing this. Secondly, this has a real impact on your life. We are talking about your education, which will be with you for, oh, the REST OF YOUR LIFE. We’re trying to make it even better so you can be wildly successful and have a swimming pool filled with applesauce or pudding and eat nothing but Doritos (or whatever it is you want to be successful at).

Barney Stinson double thumbs up

9. How can I learn more?

Wait, are you saying you want to research more about this QEP stuff? (Get it, research?) Well, you’re in luck because our R.E.A.L. Inquiry website has all kinds of good info like the goals, a timeline… and, of course, HOW TO WIN COOL STUFF LIKE T-SHIRTS!

Cute Cat Reading a Book GIF

10. Can you get Professor Halliday and Dean Ross to do a spoof about all this?

Whenever we have the opportunity to put professors and upper administration in funny, awkward videos, we’ll do it. And this is no exception. I mean, it’s not like they have anything better to do. Stay tuned.

Professor Halliday and Dean Ross GIF

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